CHAINS

There's hope.

Then there is hope beyond hope.

I think that I'm way past that.

I really realize how chained my body is now. I am not doing anything even remotely close to power walking and it's difficult for me. The gym that I joined has an inside track that you can either walk or run on. I was amazed at the amount of older people that show up at the gym and really work out and really move fast.

Then there's me.

Even the old people pass me.

It takes 6 laps to walk a mile and I'm crying while I'm doing this. Isn't that pathetic? I'm hobbling around this inside track at the pace that a turtle would envy. Gee, I'm working out. I try to keep in mind that this movement is going to do me some good but it's real hard to remember that when you're in pain.

Why do they say that exercise is good for you when dealing with Fibromyalgia?

I've done this for four days now and the pain is getting worse not better. I came home today and promptly got back into bed. My body feels like someone just beat the crap out of me. My hands hurt. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. Everything hurts. Pain does not make exercise a high point of my day. Where is the release of endorphins that gives the feeling of exuberance after the work out? I'm not feeling anything but pain.

I really thought I could do this. I knew I wasn't going to get a personal trainer and do a major exercise program but I thought I could walk. As I walked around I thought about how much this illness has changed my life and my body. I watched women that are about my age power walking around the track and smiling as they went by. They looked healthy and they didn't look like they dreaded every step they were about to take. Every step I take begs  the question, "is it worth it?"

I might have to give this up right now and try the water exercises. At least I don't have an impact issue and I will still get some stretching. It's sobering to realize that even a simple act like walking can throw your body into fits. So now, by the crack of 4, I'm going to get out of bed and crawl to the shower and see if I can do something for me today. I think I'll go to the bookstore. I can sit and have coffee and read magazines. At least it will get me out of the house.

Who came up with the idea that this is good for me? 

Gee, I hope it's not the same people that make the Lyrica commercials.