Saturday 29 May 2010

LET'S GO FOR A SUNDAY DRIVE






Travel.
The word makes me shudder just thinking about it.
But let's just start out simple.
Let's tackle the car.

The car shouldn't be a big deal, should it ? It shouldn't be but it is. I'm not talking about the simple act of getting in or getting out, although some of my more graceful moves would put any celebrity car shot to shame. What should I talk about first? Falling out of the car? Forgetting I had on a dress when I got out of the car? Nope, let's start with something better than that.

Let's try rolling up your window with your head still sticking out of it.
That's always a good one.

Fibromyalgia has so many symptoms to recommend it. Personally, I love the fog. It has me looking like the village idiot, wondering what my own name is and my personal favorite, rolling up a window with my head still in it. You would think one would know that it wouldn't be a good thing to even put your fingers near those buttons while you're talking but I did it. It doesn't do your self-esteem any good when your friends are laughing hysterically while your hair is being sucked up into the window. To top it all off panic ensues and all you have to do to stop this fiasco is take your finger off the control. Simple, isn't it? You would think so.

The second maneuver that I love is craning your neck around to see if anyone is behind you while backing out and/or changing lanes. Now, I don't know about anyone else but my neck is an area that hurts me a great deal. I feel like irobot and move in about the same way. I can't really whip it around like I used to so I tend to act like the little old ladies I used to curse at while driving. At least I can still see over the steering wheel. 

Then there's also the actual stress of the roadway. I'm still a Type A personality and after I get going the speed limit is like suggested retail price; it's up to negotiation. I'm one of those people that think the roadways can be categorized. There's the slow lane, the I can't make up my mind lane and then life in the fast lane. If you're in the fast lane I don't think you should be going 5 miles under the speed limit. Well, let me re-think that. I don't think you should go the speed limit either. So driving can cause me a great deal of stress. It doesn't even help if my boyfriend is doing the driving because he always drives 5 miles under the speed limit so I usually sit there stepping on the imaginary gas pedal like crazy on my side of the car. I think that part of the carpet is worn out from me punching that pedal.  Is that stress? Ya, think????

We all know that stress can cause a major flare. Maybe that's why I live in flare city. So when I travel, even if it's by car, the fibromyalgia has dealt me fits. Sometimes I don't even remember what I was going to do when I finally get to where I wanted to go. I've arrived at the grocery store and just sat in my car because I've forgotten my list and I don't remember what I wanted to buy. By that time it's like........."oh hell, I might as well just go home."

By the time I do get home I would just rather get in bed and watch Oprah. I think she's got a show about stress on soon. 

I should get a guest spot on that one.


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