I NEED A DIFFERENT PURSE

It seems like I carry my world with me.

Figuratively speaking.

I was trying to find my keys. I had looked all over the house and my last hope was that I kept them in my purse. Now my purse is one of those large hobo bags that I love to carry. I've got so much stuff in that bag it probably hurts my neck and back to carry it. I swear I need traction after lifting it and I know that my shoulder doesn't need that kind of weight put on it. I think the reason I like large purses is because it's easy to find. Notice that I said, "the purse is easy to find." What's inside is a whole different story. I really need to go through it, however, because I found something that I haven't used in at least ten years.

I found a tampon.

You could have heard me laughing a mile away. I thought I found a stray lipstick until I pulled it out and looked at it in the light. Where in heavens name could that have been hiding? It was then I decided that I need a different purse. Thank goodness I looked at it before I started putting it up to my lips. That could have really been embarrassing! 

How much stuff do I really need to carry? Let's see, I have a make-up bag that I could use as a carry-on for a flight. My wallet alone weighs a couple of pounds. I've got receipts in there for the dog food I bought 2 years ago. I've found perfume samples, several pairs of eyeglasses and cases, sunglasses and a secondary wallet with all my discount cards. I've got several packages of gum because, heaven forbid, I should run out. I've got hand lotion and nail polish because I can never find a good color when I get my toes done.

Let's not even start on the medication that I always carry with me.

I'm guessing that my purse weighs about ten to twelve pounds if you count the phone and iPad.

I've tried to go smaller. I've cleaned out the makeup bag and then I'll forget to zip it up and the cosmetics will go everywhere. I've either forgotten to zip up the change compartment or I can't pull out my wallet fast enough so I'll just drop the change in. When I look inside it's like looking into a dark abyss to which there is no end in sight. Within moments of cleaning it out the dust of the ages seems to magically appear in the bottom of my purse. How does this happen? I've found tobacco even though I haven't smoked in YEARS. 

I have finally figured out that a purse is like making soup. I start out with a few veggies and then by the time I've added all the goodies I could feed the whole neighborhood. I have never been able to make soup for one or two. It always turns out as soup for 40. I've tried using a smaller pot but then I have to pour it all into a much larger stock pot.

My purse is put together like that pot of soup. It just keeps getting larger and larger even though I try to keep it simple.

It doesn't work.

I still have soup for forty.

I even put a flashlight on my key chain to help me find stuff in this huge bag.

Only I still can't find my keys.................