THE OSTRICH VIEW

Sometimes it's just easier this way.

Why is everything such a fight? I fight every day for a healthier way of life. I fight to get the exercise that my body needs. I fight so that I don't have to take pain medication to function and I fight the fog that seeps into my brain. 

I fight the fog and I fight the pain.

I fight to keep a smile on my face when every part of me wants give in to the feelings of anger toward the driver of this car. I know that I have to stop this. It's counter-productive and I realize it. I can't go forward while I'm still looking back. 

I actually thought I was making headway.

Now I get penalized for fighting.

I found out that I got denied by my employer's long term disability policy. I've got doctor's galore that have documented my case, however, when it comes to an insurance company paying well, that's another story. They took an "independent" medical examination and casually inserted false statements and denied me again. The added plus was that they have a real problem with Fibromyalgia. Now, a suit will probably have to be filed.

I used to pride myself on my ability to be a fighter. I had abilities and I was confident. Now I'm just tired of fighting. Now I have to continue to jump through their hoops so they'll see that I'm serious about pursuing this claim.  Most people, at this point, just give up and go away.

However, I'm not most people.

You pay premiums and they pry and pick through your life with the intention of connecting the dots so they point to denial. I do realize that there are many fraudulent claims out there and they must be thorough so that they are weeded out but when there is appropriate documentation and they discard it, well, that's just plain wrong. Now the attorneys that the insurance company has on retainer can justify their jobs and take this case to court.

Great.

Just great.

I hate fighting.

And it looks like I'll have to keep fighting.

I'm really tired of it.