I CAN FEEL IT

One thing about chronic pain and Fibromyalgia.


It puts you in touch with your body.


It's like turning on the light in a dark room.

You know that there is something that goes beyond the fibro. Something still isn't right. You can't put your finger on it but you're guessing it's your thyroid. You've had the typical tests before and the doctors tell you nothing is wrong. You're disappointed you know something is wrong but you feel stupid because the blood work says its fine.


You are in the normal range.

What is it that I feel pulling at me? As the weather once again grows colder and the ever-present pain begins to build again, something else seems to be touching the edges of my mind trying to get in. I don't know what it is and it feels like something is coming. I'm not certain whether it's real or it's a by-product of my thyroid imbalance.

Sometimes you feel on edge and you're on super-alert status. Maybe it's the stress of waiting on disability, the upcoming holidays or a weather change.

Doctors rarely look any deeper than the initial thyroid test. If you should be anywhere near the normal range they totally discount your symptoms. Exercise, eat less, cut out fats and starches, get rid of the stresses in your life or slow down are the routine panacea for the neurotic woman who goes there for help. They think you've got a mood disorder. They think your diet needs to be altered. They think you're depressed. They think it's your fault. After a while you think you're crazy.

But you're not.

Are you always tired? Are you irritable or impatient? Are you sleeping poorly? Have you lost your enthusiasm for things you used to love to do? Are you depressed? Have you gained weight? Your thyroid can even cause your cholesterol to shoot higher.

Look at those symptoms. Is it any wonder why we're patted on our ever increasing behinds and told to go away? You know something isn't right but you have to go to doctor after doctor only to hear that your Type A personality has brought it on yourself. The other side of the coin is the doctor that treats the thyroid but doesn't listen to the person that's attached to the gland. Either one is frustrating. They treat a thyroid imbalance as something simple.

Take a pill and it will go away.

They don't realize fully what it does to you. This imbalance is not only a significant blow to the body. It is an equally significant blow to your brain. They don't treat the complexities of this imbalance and what it can do to your body and your soul.

Fortunately, I go to an endocrinolgist this week. Because this can be passed down my daughter is going with me. She has some of the same fishy symptoms that tells me she might have some problems in this arena. It will be nice to have someone listen and correct this imbalance with the right medications.


Once again I have hope that I might be able to feel even a little bit better. It's back to one baby step at a time. Even if I get the thyroid under control there's still the Fibromyalgia to be reckoned with and that is one big IF. I didn't get into this overnight but I do expect it to be gone overnight. Come on, I haven't progressed that much.

Is it the thyroid that keeps my hands cold and tingling or is it the fibromyalgia that makes them HURT? Right now they are beginning to hurt like holy hell. I've talked about taking a baseball bat to my legs when they start; well, I want to turn that same bat loose on my hands.


I just want to feel better NOW.