WISH

Forty-six years.


We have been friends FORTY-SIX YEARS. How the hell did that time go so fast?

My dearest friend in the world has a birthday today and she hates them. I say they're better than the alternative. 

It would figure that this is a sucky year for gifts but if I could give her anything that I wanted to I would give her one wish.

I wish all her wishes come true.

CORE MATTERS

"At a certain point in your life, probably when too much of it has gone by, you will open your eyes and see yourself for who you really are." Miss Dodger - Phoebe in Wonderland.

I think this is the perfect way, for me, to find out who I really am. Chronic pain and Fibromyalgia has blurred everything so I'm not so sure who that woman is anymore. Like today.........it's raining AGAIN so pain has come knocking on my door with a vengence, however, I have resolved to not laying on my couch but looking at the rain with joy.

Did it stop the pain?

No.

What it did was help me to look beyond the pain. 

I am more than a woman with chronic pain. I am more than the picture that Fibromyalgia paints. If I can give hope or laughter to just one person then I'm happy.

Still in pain but happy.

WHAT CAME FIRST?

Studies are now seeing if there's a link between Fibromyalgia and Vitamin D deficiency.

I'm low in Vitamin D. 

Very low, as a matter of fact.

As I was reading through the information about Vitamin D deficiency it reminded me of some of the same symptoms that I experience with Fibromyalgia.

Your body cannot create Vitamin D. We need to get it through sunlight and in foods but the sad part is that we don't get enough. Not nearly enough.

What are the deficiency symptoms?

Muscle pain, low energy and sleep problems are the hallmarks of deficiency. Depression is also linked with Vitamin D deficiencies as well.

What got my attention is that deficiencies in Vitamin D can be linked to obesity as well. Studies have shown that weight loss does occur with increased calcium intake and since this vitamin is involved in calcium absorption it's reasonable to believe that weight gain would be  the next link in the chain. 

How do we get more D?

We need to get more unprotected sunlight. I was advised to get 15 minutes of sunlight, twice a day.

Eat egg yolks and nutrient dense fatty fish like sardines ( yuck....sorry, can't eat those). 

Take a Vitamin D supplement.

Is there a link?

The danger is that a huge number of doctors already believe that Fibromyalgia is a disease of neurotic women. Fibromyalgia is not easily diagnosed and never cured and Vitamin D deficiency is easily diagnosed and easily cured. To link Fibromyalgia as a Vitamin D deficiency disease is to again dismiss this problem as a quick-fix.

When I looked up Fibromyalgia and Vitamin D deficiency there were TONS of articles saying that Fibromyalgia has been misdiagnosed. All I can say to that is.......

What a crock.

This kind of thinking gets me on my soapbox.

I DO NOT LIKE PAIN. I DO NOT ENJOY HAVING MY LIFE LIMITED BY PAIN. I DO NOT LIKE THE FIBROFOG AND DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO FIGHT IT.

To have this disease, once again, dismissed as a vitamin deficiency or the by-product of an over active imagination or neuroses is demeaning and insulting.

WORD FOR TODAY

Quidnunc.


Just what I am.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS

I really try to make lemonade. 


I really do.


I wish I was an optimist but the best I can do is:

I'm really not the lemonade type. I'd rather be a realist that way I'm never surprised. I do wish that people would not have agendas. I wish they'd be open and honest and that way decisions could be made on facts. You'd be on a pretty level playing field. 

Just weird agenda's today.

I SHOULD GIVE ZANAFLEX A FAIR SHOT

So much for Zanaflex.

I should be fair and give it at least a week but being my Typical Type A self and an immediate gratification freak, I want it to help me NOW.

So here I am awake, muscles cramping, humidity rising and pain building to an unbelievable crescendo and the Zanaflex isn't kicking in yet. I have to wait to take the pain medication so I thought I'd write for awhile.

Fibromyalgia sucks.

There are some characteristics we are born with. I've had perfectionistic tendencies all my life. I remember having my shoes placed in my closet by colors before I even started school. I drove my mother crazy by not wanting my foods to touch on the plate otherwise I wouldn't eat it. My makeshift home Dewey Decimal system.......the list goes on and on. If I'd known that my quest for order and perfection would lead to the pain I'm in today I think my life would have been different.

Did it really matter if my spices were in alphabetical order? Did it matter that video tapes and DVD's still follow that pattern? I am so much better than I used to be but some habits are hard to break.

I know in my head that the cortisol and adrenaline that must constantly be running through my system is BAD but that's me. Again, I'm a great deal better than I used to be but there are some things that just won't change.

No Help in LIfe.

It also doesn't help when you're unemployed. It doesn't help when disability denies you. It really doesn't help when you're used to making a fair amount of  money and you've drained your accounts dealing with an invisible illness that just loves to make your life chaotic.

I can live with a marginal amount of  pain. I've been doing that for years. When pain is coupled with insomnia and the pain is no longer marginal, that is a little tough to deal with in a cheerful manner.

Well for now I'll try to be patient and give the Zanaflex an opportunity to work.

.

HOPE FOR HAITI

I've watched Anderson Cooper give his heart and soul as he  reported the devastation of Haiti. Dr. Mark Hyman and Dr. Sanjay Gupta operating and treating people in parks and in hospitals without the benefit of even the most basic medical supplies.

The telethon was wonderful. I think John Legend and Christina Aguilera were so touching. All of the music was beautiful.

If we even give one dollar this can help this desperate country.

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